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Monday Morning Musings from the Emergency Room

Mitch Arnold • September 25, 2023

It was a Monday morning, and though I wasn’t thinking about it, I probably needed the attitude adjustment that was about to come. Just an hour into my work week, I stood up from my desk and took a few steps to pour myself some water from the sink, but I never made it to the sink. Instead, I tripped and fell flat on my face, literally. The blood falling in large drops on the floor told me that this wasn’t going to be an average Monday.


Like many people, perhaps even you, my attitude is lackluster on Monday mornings. Enjoying time with family and friends, and the absence of structure, I’m much happier on the weekends than when facing the structure and pressures of the work week. That, plus the realization that I’m as far away from the weekend as I can get, make Monday mornings a struggle. On this particular Monday morning, a few weeks ago, the struggle was intensified.


Fortunately, I work from home, and my wife was home with me, though she was outside tending to her garden. It was my four-year-old granddaughter who heard the commotion and came to check on me. She’s a sharp little girl, and I’m thankful for that, because she was able to go outside and get Lynda. I’m also thankful that my wife is a physician assistant who sees lacerations often during her work at a primary clinic. Despite my protests and pleas that she pop some staples in my head, like she’s done before, she insisted that I go to the emergency room to get fixed up in a sterile environment. It’s a Monday morning, she said, they shouldn’t be busy.

They were VERY busy. Not only was the waiting room full, there were three ambulances in the bay, presumably carrying patients with larger concerns than the large vertical gash I sported on my forehead, so I settled into one of the few empty seats, and began my wait. At my urging, Lynda and Presley left to run some errands. Not only do I struggle with Monday mornings, patience while waiting is also a weakness; however, I felt a calmness that day.


I didn’t have a phone or TV to entertain me, and the sparse newspaper that I bled all over didn’t take me long to read, so I was left with my thoughts and observations. All around me were people awaiting treatment and their loved ones who were trying to comfort them. Two young families with fathers who looked absolutely miserable were among the crowd. One carried a plastic pitcher as a safety net, in case he couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time to vomit. The other seemed to be suffering from a migraine or some other intense head pain. Both wives rubbed their husbands’ backs and encouraged them.


I didn’t find comfort seeing strangers suffering, but I found peace in the love and faith that filled the waiting room, and I was reminded that I’m not the only one with health struggles. Because I work from home, I often don’t see anyone but my family and the gym crowd during the week, and I rarely see anyone with a worse physical handicap than I have. Sitting in that waiting room, I began to realize that I had inadvertently became kind of smug in my ability to handle my daily struggles.


Struggle is universal. We’re all going to face it, if we haven’t already, and it’s often unpleasant. However, with the right attitude, we can put struggle in its proper place – as a part of life, but not a limiter of life. Ironically, my trip to the emergency room actually improved my attitude that Monday morning. It realigned my perspective and made me realize that my normal Monday morning self-pity was unnecessarily limiting my appreciation of the opportunities that possibly awaited me in the new week.


If you’re struggling today or any day, take a few minutes to reflect in gratitude and to remind yourself that you’re not alone, but that it’s up to you to find the right attitude to put the struggles behind you.


_______



For those keeping score, this is my second trip to the emergency room to get my head stitched up. One more, and the next one’s free! With the 26 stitches I got that day, plus multiple staples Lynda has added at home, my head is starting to look like a jigsaw puzzle, but I keep plugging along. Have a great day!

The Importance of Imagining Brighter Days

By Mitch Arnold • March 2, 2025
Nebraskans experienced what seemed like an entire winter in two weeks last month. Those, like me, who have been around for decades of Nebraska winters recognize that winter can be much harsher and last a lot longer, but for those two weeks, winter misery prevailed.  Then, it suddenly changed. In just a few days, we went from sub-zero overnight temperatures to temperatures in the sixties. Many areas experienced 70-plus temperature changes from one week to the next. The change was remarkable, and it not only melted the snow and ice, it also quickly erased our memories of the misery we felt just days before. Life is often like that. We can get so bogged down in difficult times that we can’t even imagine brighter days. Then, when brighter days happen, our memories mercifully tamp out the misery. The challenge is to resist unhappiness and frustration during trying times, and to remind ourselves that brighter days are ahead. It’s an exercise in hope, and one that’s crucial to our happiness, especially when things are not working out the way that we want them to. Amid the miserable weather of those two weeks, while the snow and ice kept me homebound, I slipped and fell when getting out of the shower. That left me with a diagonal slash across my back, sprained finger and deep bruising on my right hip and foot. Fortunately, no emergency room visit was needed this time, and I was able to continue on with my day and week, albeit much sorer and slower than usual. The worst of the injuries happened to my already weak right side, and resulted in that leg being much tighter than it normally is, which made getting around even more challenging than it already was. As always, I don’t share these challenges looking for sympathy. Rather, I want to acknowledge the occasional suffering that happens behind the scenes for all of us. Most of us try to put on a brave face and keep our problems behind closed doors, but everyone endures tough times at one time or another. It’s during those times that we need to find hope and optimism, and the best way to find hope and optimism is to focus on brighter days ahead. Like the weather, our fortunes can quickly change. I focused on that as ice and injury kept me homebound. I’ve been injured before and stuck at home by weather before, but rarely at the same time. In fact, the timing was quite convenient. Since the weather was already keeping me in, I could use that time to heal. Admittedly, those days were not without frustration and sadness, but I fought off those feelings with hope and optimism. Hope and optimism are almost always more elusive during difficult times, when we need them the most. That’s why we must make a concerted effort to summon them. If we don’t, we risk unnecessarily prolonging misery. As the weather improved, so did my body, like it had hundreds of times before. Before long, I was back doing the things I normally do, and my confidence level inched forward, as I proved to myself that I could survive another challenge and the brighter days I imagined came to be. If you are going through a difficult time, remind yourself that tough times never last, and that brighter days are ahead. If you do that enough, it becomes a defense mechanism that you can refine and use each time your days darken.

Take Control of Your Thoughts

By Mitch Arnold • January 5, 2025
Driving to the gym the other day, I caught myself thinking about a former client who inexplicably quit returning my calls. That led me to thinking about a former employee who started a competing business, which led me to thinking about an ex-girlfriend who broke my heart more than 30 years ago. In just a couple of minutes, my mind was swirling with negative thoughts about people who have let me down. Why?!? What good was any of that doing for me? One small, negative thought had sparked an inferno which threatened to obliterate any positivity lurking in my mind. I had a choice to make – change what I was thinking about or risk ruining my day, or at least part of it. That was obviously a pretty easy choice, but there was a time when it wouldn’t have been. I would have ceded my day to whatever thoughts crossed my mind. That was before I learned about the power of mindfulness. At its most basic, mindfulness is simply being aware of what you are thinking about in the moment. Mindfulness becomes more advanced when it’s used as part of a mental process to evaluate those thoughts and control them for psychological benefit. It is particularly useful when your mind grabs hold of negative thoughts and refuses to let go. In my experience, negative thoughts are insidious, opportunistic, and often more aggressive than positive thoughts. They will catch you in a moment of weakness, and quickly amplify before you are even aware of what they are doing. Whereas positive thoughts seem fleeting and easily lost, negative thoughts can be direct, intense and sometimes difficult to shake. If left uncontrolled, negative thoughts seem to multiply and intensify, like a relentless virus. They will squash your inner peace, kill your enthusiasm and sap your energy. That’s where mindfulness comes in. You can’t control negative thinking until you become aware of its presence in your mind, and we’re often unaware of it. We might just feel depressed or irritable, and point the finger at external circumstances, when our thoughts are really to blame. When we catch ourselves feeling that way, we should take a minute to consider what’s on our minds and if those thoughts merit the energy we’re devoting to them. In my case, with the unresponsive client, I had already examined the possible causes of the lack of responsiveness, and had come to peace with the reality that I’ll probably never know the reason. I had also reassured myself that I had done nothing wrong, so why devote any more energy to the situation? The thoughts about the former employee and ex-girlfriend were similar; I had already given them enough of my energy, and thinking about them was going to bring me nothing but negativity. Now aware that negative thoughts were flooding my mind, I focused on getting rid of them and replacing them with positive thoughts. I looked through my windshield at the unseasonably warm winter weather, and was purposefully grateful for the opportunity to be on my way to the gym for the exercise my body needed. I thought of the good things in my life, like my family and experiences with friends. As I did so, I felt tension that I had been unaware of leave my body. All because of mindfulness. Consider using mindfulness the next time you feel negativity taking over your mind. Take the time to consider what you are thinking, and, if needed, change it to optimize your day. You will be glad you did. “Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” ― Lao Tzu
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